


Trojan Snake

by Laur



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Other, Silly, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), Sneaky Crowley (Good Omens), lockdown - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23955007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laur/pseuds/Laur
Summary: Had Crowley dropped him off a case of wine? What use did Aziraphale have of that? He would never drink this all alone.Well! He would just have to call the demon and get him to come take it back. Aziraphale picked up his phone and dialed.The crate began to ring.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 207
Collections: Snakey Bits!Crowley





	Trojan Snake

The Devil’s food cake was in the oven, and it smelled positively divine. Humming to himself, Aziraphale flipped through his recipe book, contemplating if he should switch to pies. They looked more complicated than cakes, but that would be just the thing to keep his mind off of things. Things like how quiet his bookshop seemed lately, and how impossible it was for one person to eat so many cakes alone, and how Crowley was probably fast asleep already and wouldn’t be up for _two whole months_.

There was a banging on his front door and he jumped. Goodness, who could that be? Not customers, not with the lockdown. More burglars? Aziraphale’s heart skipped with excitement. If they were, they were very polite burglars, and they were just in time for cake.

Putting on his disapproving face, Aziraphale went to open the door. “Now, it really can’t be clearer that I am definitely—oh.” There was no one there. On the step was a wooden crate. Aziraphale poked his head out the door, but didn’t spot anyone who looked guilty of _knock, knock, ginger_. “What’s this?”

He huffed as he picked up the crate and lugged it into the shop and, lacking any clear table space, left it in the middle of the floor. The crate smelled like Crowley, which made Aziraphale frown. Had Crowley dropped him off a case of wine? What use did Aziraphale have of that? He would never drink this all alone.

Well! He would just have to call the demon and get him to come take it back. Turning his back on the crate, Aziraphale picked up his phone and dialed.

The crate began to ring.

Aziraphale turned to stare at it, flabbergasted. Had Crowley left his phone in there?

Hanging up, Aziraphale approached the crate. The lid was loosely sat on top, so he lifted it off to peer inside.

A sleek, black snake head rose up in greeting. “What’sssss up, angel?”

“Crowley! I should have known!”

Crowley’s long body slid out of the crate, revealing a selection of wines and scotch. “You said it’s against the rulesss. I’m a demon, that’s practically asssking for it.”

Aziraphale watched, enamoured, as the snake poured out. Aziraphale was partial to all of Crowley’s forms, but it had been ages since the last time he had been treated to this one. “When you said you’d slither over, I didn’t think you meant literally.”

“There’s no rule about social distancing against snakesss.” Crowley made his way across the floor, lifting his head to peer at the collection of cakes on nearly every table. “Gosh, you really have been busy. I didn’t know you even had an oven.”

“I didn’t either. It just sort of popped up.” Aziraphale bent to inspect the contents of the crate, eyes catching on a flash of light between two very fine bottles of wine. Reaching in, he pulled out the reflective object, eyebrows raising. “Are these…condoms?” He noticed the brand name and his lips twitched. “Oh, you fiend.”

Crowley snickered, his voice suddenly right by his ear. “It’s a joke. Do you get it? Trojan? Y’know, like the Trojan Horse?”

A flicking tongue tickled his jaw, and Aziraphale turned, allowing Crowley to nuzzle against his cheek. “Have you come to ravage my bookshop, then?”

“Hmm.” Crowley slithered his way onto Aziraphale’s shoulders, his voice a seductive rumble next to Aziraphale’s ear. “I’ve come to ravage something.”

“Oh, my.” Aziraphale closed his eyes as Crowley captured him snugly in his muscular coils, a full-body hug that felt utterly splendid. “This pantomime really wasn’t necessary.”

“But it’s fun.”

Aziraphale fell onto his sofa and stroked the smooth, black scales while Crowley made himself at home on Aziraphale’s body. He slithered and squirmed over Aziraphale’s clothes, and rubbed between Aziraphale’s legs until the angel was the one hissing, head tipped back and neck exposed to the loving brush of Crowley’s fangs. They only stopped once the cake had burned.

“Are you sure you want to hunker down here, my dear? I’m afraid I haven’t been up to anything more interesting than reading and baking.”

Tail wrapped around a fork, Crowley held out another piece of cake for Aziraphale to try. “Angel, I’d much rather be bored with you than bored alone.”

Aziraphale wrapped his lips around the rich, chocolate morsel, savouring the taste while Crowley savoured the look of him. “You don’t have to stay like this, you know. At the very least I’ll need help with those delightful vintages you brought.”

“Another person in your shop? During a lockdown?” his tongue flicked at Aziraphale’s fingers. “Dangerousss.”

“Well.” Aziraphale pretended to consider, giving him a stern look. “To be safe, I suppose I can’t let you leave, can I?”

In a blink, the snake had transformed into a man-shaped being, one that was determined to taste the chocolate on Aziraphale’s tongue. “That works for me jussst fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> Just a silly thing. Come find me on [Tumblr!](https://notesoflore.tumblr.com/)


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